My Push Button Life

     Nobody's got to tell me that I live one, my heart and lungs let me know. But if we were meant to live a complete push button life we would have been born with an E.T. finger, right? One long skinny finger to activate all the buttons we need to push in a day, a right long index finger if you're right-handed and one on the left if you are left-handed. (One on each hand if your ambidextrous.)

     Oh listen, there's nothing wrong with convenience, we've got a lot of things to stuff into our already stuffed 24-7's. Pushing a button shaves time off our day, uses very little brain power, and reserves energy. These are great conveniences for 21st Century lifestyles.

     I'm all for shaving time off my day, hey banking and paying bills online are fabulous! The old days of showering, dressing, walking to the car and then driving to town and getting in and out of my car and thinking-'purse, cell phone, bill, checkbook, keys, door locked-are over! Now I walk to the computer, sit, click with my E.T. fingers (I'm ambidextrous) and I've used up about 5 of the 2000 calories I need to burn up in a day.

     E-mails with notes and letters with photographs and video footage keep me from having to walk to the mailbox to mail anything to my friends and loved ones which saves my surplus of unused calories for the day. The days of having to get up to change to one of the 4 channels we had as kids has been over for quite some time. My kids and grand kids have never known a time where they had to manually change TV channels.

     Changing music manually though, they remember. I've taught dance all the way from reel to reel taped music, to records, to 8-tracks, to cassettes, and to CD's ( I have not even begun the i-pod way of life in class yet) and boy it was a transition to get used to the new methods each time. The reel to reel took more effort to do, so with each new concept would come more convenience to the point now I've even started using a remote in class!!! I NEVER thought I would give up my constant back and forth to the sound equipment to stop and start my music. I stand in my teacher spot in front of the mirrors and push a button to do my music from across the studio, less energy consumption for me! What's next, computer generated software of me teaching the students, and them dancing with me from their homes without using their bodies??!! Wait...virtual reality has been around for a while, hasn't it?

     I think it's high time for motorized recliners to hit the main stream market, with built in fridges and mini-microwaves and a flip and fold tray to eat on as well as do work from and a convenient pouch to put your laptop (the big screen hydraulicly comes out from underneath the chair when needed). The chair would have a built in pillow and places for blankets so you can sleep in the chair and it would have a potty system, as well. Ooh...and surround sound. I think the arm cushion should flip up to reveal an entire control panel to run every system in your house. We could shop in it, eat at fine restaurants in it, vacation in it ,even bathe in it. It could be called "The E.T. Finger Chair" (E.T. would stand for Easy Time) just one push of our one long finger and it would save us from the grit, grime, and exhaust fumes of calorie burning. I forgot to mention sweat.

     Raise your hand if you like to sweat. Oh sorry, have your chair raise your hand if you like to sweat. I have a sister that tells me that women should 'glow'. I sweat, but it's okay because I know that my body is letting go off toxins and keeping me in balance. Pushing buttons don't require a lot of sweat unless the AC is broken in your car and it's the middle of summer. That's why I would like to challenge you to a "How Many Times Do I Use Buttons In A Day" Contest. Try to mentally be aware, in a day's time, how many vast arrays of buttons  you use so unconsciously in the place of actually exerting old school energy. I think you will be surprised at how much of a button pusher you are. We've always equated the term 'pencil pusher' with a job that doesn't require much activity. I propose that 'button pusher' is the term of our new millennium that describes sedentary much more vividly. So instead of calling someone lazy, you could slam someone like this..."yeah, you ain't nothing but a button pusher". Boy, that would tell them off.