Saturday, January 28, 2012

If It's Not One Plague It's Another

       I'm a survivor. I used to suffer from Roseanne Roseannadanna Syndrome.

      This syndrome was named after her because it has only been in most recent years experts have been able to pin down and identify what causes this debilitating chronic nastiness.
     How was I diagnosed? Well, it was a self-diagnosis.

      I had the usual symptoms, repeated chaotic plague-like situations that would cause upheaval in my little world. It would leave me flinging my arms around in Lost-In-Space-Robot fashion yelling, "Danger danger, Will Robinson!". Then, I would find myself, as I could see another bout heading my way wailing, "If it's not one thing it's another!" huffing in a disgusted breath.

     These plagues weren't always all my doing, they did sometimes involve the dastardly deeds of another person which would  domino and the law of 'Cause and Effect' would take over. But more times than not, they were because of my own lack of knowledge of what would set a plaguefest into motion.

Below I have compiled a Survivalist Information Guide to help you identify and to stop the plague madness, but if you deem this useless, well.....plague on my brother.

You might be a Plague-ee if...

    1.) Symptom: The bare essentials of your necessary existence (food, clothing, shelter, water, income, relationships) have been tainted and taken from you on numerous occasions.

         This is the blood plague. Intensified Tide cannot remove this.

        After-effects: The loss or theft of personal everyday belongings, finances, friends.    

    2.) Symptom: Feelings of helplessness take over as you arm wrestle unwanted intruders.

         This is the frog-lice-flies-locust plagues. Like someone projectile vomited all over your belongings.

         After-effects: You seem to run around putting out proverbial fires. It's like you spar with an unseen force that messes everything up on a regular basis.

   3.) Symptom: You experience trauma from the breakdown and/or death of your work-mules.

        This is the livestock plague. The things you need to perform duties die in the middle of its active service.

        After-effects: Your car, washing machine, A/C, hair dryer break down and your utilities have been shut off. In other words, what you need to help you breaks down or dies.

   4.) Symptom: Your immune system keeps allowing the crud and croup, infections and inflammation. It does not defend you. Oh the heartbreak of Psoriasis.

        This is the boils plague. The never ending parade of aches, ailments and meds.

        After-effects: Debris from the parade. The aftermath after the destruction.

   5.) Symptom: There is sadness/unhappiness when you view your kingdom and what remains of it.

        This is the hail plague. You have no damage control plan. Your crops keep getting ruined.

        After-effects: What you DO have is broken, torn, dirty, unrepairable, dinged, dented, collapsing/failing.

   6.) Symptom: Head spiraling confusion-indecisiveness-fear-lethargy jousts with you.You're swinging
         a sword and can't see the evil knight you're swinging at.

        This is the darkness plague. You have no definition of who your real enemy is.

        After-effects: Exhaustion from beating the air or lassoing the wind and the culprit giggles at your dumbness.

   7.) Symptom: A sense of loss permeates your every day. Loss of talents, hobbies, friends, family, and yourself.

       This is the death of the firstborn plague. Life rots and stinks for you.

      After-effects: Things and situations lie unused and untapped. Carnage is everywhere.


      It was never intended for God's Property to experience plagues. The proof of that statement is in Exodus. Only the Egyptians were zapped. GP's were untouched.

                Yet....once in the desert, plagues DID come a-calling.

We believe we are unsuspecting victims with no power to change our circumstances. Lie.
It is cards that were dealt us. Lie.
It's our lot in life. Lie.
We are bit actors in a drama forced to play out our role. Lie.


     We want our golden calf and His golden blessings, too! That's a NO-GO in God's eyes. You gotta choose! It's an either or, neither nor choice. The willing and obedient eat the good of the land, not just willing and not just obedient, but both. Both.

     How negligent and unreasonable would it be for the Holy Spirit not to inform, whisper, hint, or instruct us as to what He wants us to do everyday? How to make right decisions? How to stop the plagues?

     Roseanne Roseannadanna always believed that plagues were a normal part of life and never knew what caused them or when they would hit, thus the Roseanne Roseannadanna Syndrome.

      I, however, as a survivor of the plagues, feel the need to warn others of the flying monkeys.  

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